Balancing Masculine and Feminine Essence
As a mentor and energy healer, I’ve found that helping people become aware of the role of masculine and feminine essences in their lives can make a big difference in their healing journey.
Masculine and feminine essences are preferences for how people like to run their energy. They’re not the same as masculine or feminine energy, a fact that can cause confusion when people talk about “being in their masculine” or “being in their feminine.”
In simplest terms, masculine energy tends to be what is bright, direct, fast and forceful, while feminine energy tends to be more about what is not seen, indirect, slower and flowing. Both men and women need to balance masculine and feminine energies in order to live happy, functional lives.
Sexual essence, however, refers to preference: What balance of masculine and feminine energies makes someone happiest? Our culture tends to get things done in a rather masculine way. As a result, many women do things in a way that is more masculine than is natural for them, typically leaving them feeling depleted, invisible and not particularly juicy.
Their exhaustion then impacts their health in a way that doesn’t get addressed by just getting a good night’s rest. There is weariness in the emotions and the soul. On some level, many women know deep inside that they are not able to be fully who they are. Life has trained them not to be. They are caught up in overusing masculine energies of “doing” instead of the more feminine “being.” Women privately report that they yearn to be able to delve into the more succulent, tender parts of themselves but often feel it would be unsafe to do so. The constant feeling of having to do everything by themselves impacts their health in a way that no amount of organic food or yoga can address, because it is a way of relating to life that does not suit them.
In general, the feminine essence typically prefers to be more magnetic—attracting people and desired resources—rather than pushing to find these things. This preference has nothing to do with sexual preference or identity.
I often comment to women, “Yes, you can do everything all on your own. You are very capable of doing that. But the question is, ‘Do you want to?’”
The question typically elicits a strong desire for something better; it’s an opening to exploring energetic work and the feminine essence. When a woman returns to her natural feminine essence, everything changes for her. She can be just as productive as before, but she feels less drained, more magnetic and more radiant. She is magnetic to what she wants and her joy increases. Simultaneously, any masculine essence around her typically becomes attracted to her softness and vulnerability and is more naturally drawn to giving her what she needs. The masculine essence is wired to find a need and to fill it. When there is no need to fill, the masculine essence often feels lost.
Unfortunately, in our culture, vulnerability is often seen as weakness. Women can drive themselves into exhaustion to avoid being seen as needy. In the push for equality with men, certain aspects of feminine essence get inadvertently pushed aside.
Men often feel a similar imbalance. They would like a stronger sense of mission, to support the women in their lives more, since the masculine essence has more desire to “do.” But there doesn’t seem to be a way to do this, especially when women feel they should do everything all by themselves. As a result, men sometimes feel unimportant and disconnected in their relationships. In addition, men can carry a hollow masculine, as is called in Chinese energy medicine, which refers to having an imbalance internally with feminine energy. This results in men being unable to know their feelings. These factors can affect men’s health significantly.
When people reconnect to the essence that feels natural for them, they feel much less stressed and happier in their relationships, and their health improves. This energy awareness is another step in the healing journey.
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