Have you ever had a connection with someone you will never forget, and then, in an instant, they are gone forever? It has happened to me a few times. Sometimes it lasts for a moment and sometimes, only a few months. Each one has made me wish for more time with that person.

The first time it happened was on a subway in Atlanta. A man sat on the train across from me. We happened to look at each other, and our eyes locked. We stared at each other, not understanding the connection or what to say. Intuitively, I felt I had known him as a dear friend or lover in some former life. I cannot explain it any other way. It was like what some call love at first sight, but I was only 14, and he was perhaps twice my age. I knew it was not an impulse I could act on, and I sensed that he knew it, too. All we could do was hold our stare and try to remember some timeless connection. Then the train came to a stop, and he was gone. It was such a vivid interaction that I’ve never forgotten it. 

A similar situation happened in Morocco. I had just boarded a banana boat heading back across the river when I saw a girl on another boat that had just come in to dock. She had the most striking eyes, and we looked at each other, unable to look away. She was with her family, and they must have noticed our connection, too, because they smiled back at me and began gesturing toward me. Neither of us spoke the other’s language, but we both knew what the other was thinking: that we were old friends, somehow connected. As my boat drifted away, there was nothing I could say. We both smiled, and the moment was gone. 

Sometimes it happens as a result of some trauma. On a visit to Guatemala, I was in a small boat, crossing Lake Atitlan, when severe waves appeared out of nowhere, rocking the boat suddenly. Everyone was frightened, thinking we might capsize. Sitting beside me was a Mayan woman about my age, and she instinctively grabbed my hand for comfort. We held onto one another as if we were each other’s savior, both of us practically in tears. I felt a deep closeness with her—as if we had known each other all of our lives and now feared that we might not live to see each other another moment. We held each until our boat reached the dock. Then, not knowing how to speak each other’s language, we laughed and hugged goodbye.

The last time I felt some undeniable connection with a stranger, I had some time to become friends with her. I met Mar in Ecuador just before COVID hit. We were volunteering at a zoo and became instant close friends. After our volunteer time, we stayed connected on WhatsApp. I learned that Mar was having a very hard time because her elder aunt and uncle in Ecuador had died during the early days of COVID, and she could not be there to help them. She had already been going through a difficult time in her career and had gotten depressed. I did what I could to be supportive, but she lived in Berlin, and I could not be with her in person. 

I tried to keep in touch with Mar, but the pandemic was taxing. Sadly, I did not reach out frequently enough, and one day, I discovered she vanished from WhatsApp. I had no other way to reach her. It was an unexpected loss at a time when I had lost so much already. 

I keep a picture of the two of us nearby to remember the sweet soul named Mar and our special friendship. I understand now that it is so important to hold those golden connections close when they come into my life. The next time I meet a kindred spirit who happens to be a stranger, I’m not going to let a language barrier stop me from reaching out. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to have a rare and deep spiritual connection with someone ever again. ❧

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