I’ll Be Me. You Be You.Jan 31, 2019 02:00AM ● By Lucretia Robison
After a lifetime of unsettling experiences—walking into rooms and hearing voices fall silent, being engrossed in a vibrant conversation only to have the other person suddenly pull away, and even observing people squirm in my presence from time to time—I have only recently begun to understand why.
A former business partner explained it this way: “You are just so different.” She said this while shaking her head, leaning over me, wrinkling her nose and curling her lip. Our partnership didn’t last long after that.
More recently, an associate told me that I challenge him. He told me that what I say makes him uneasy because my views are so different from his.
A while ago, I merged life paths with someone who didn’t run away from or challenge me. He was interested in what I said; he even seemed to take delight in drawing out that nugget from my mouth that usually made jaws drop. The first few months of our relationship, I wondered when he would leave. I held my breath awaiting his retreat, but he always returned. But after some time, it seemed that he was right at home, anticipating with bated breath what his adored significant other was going to say next.
I asked him why. Why did he enjoy my company while others squirmed, tried to hush me, and then finally left?
He said, “Why wouldn’t I stay? You are real. You tell your truth.”
“Why do others get so bothered?” I asked.
“Because there are certain things you aren’t supposed to say. Even if it’s obvious,” he replied.
“Should I stop saying them?” I said.
“No,” he said. “Tell the truth. You do you.” Then he kissed me, and I became enchanted for a long time thereafter.
Inauthenticity makes me squirm. I cannot live in my own skin while feeling like a fake. I cry a dozen times per day. I laugh at the curiosities and humor of life probably twice as much as that. Even more than that, I am in awe of how life carries on despite what it goes through. I am interested in what is real—not someone’s notion of how things should be, how conditioning has shaped their view or what makes them comfortable.
For humanity's sake, be true to who you areIf shining light into darkness makes one uncomfortable, is it because there are spiders hiding in there that one would rather not acknowledge? Those spiders can still bite, and their webs can still entangle. Why not mention them? Isn’t it my duty to mention them?
What is contained in the shadows one creates? What truth is one afraid of? Why are one’s ego, one’s need to control and one’s need to cover up more important than factual, objective evidence?
Our physical environment is a manifestation of our mindfulness. What surrounds you? Is it a perfect world? For everyone? If it isn’t, maybe grab a broom to sweep out your shadow. Practice some self-love and self-acceptance, and then lend a helping hand to another person instead of judging them. It’s time to look at what the truth actually is, clean it up and create a world built on respect, clarity and evidence.
I will do me. You do you. For humanity’s sake, be true to who you are and allow, with curiosity and openness, others to be true to who they are.
There is room for everyone here on earth.