I’ve just come through a period in which I knew of seven deaths. 

The latest was my former father-in-law. He was a profoundly decent man with an always-on sense of humor and an easygoing way of being. My neighbor also passed, a pillar of our cohousing community who was also gentle of spirit. And a mother of a neighbor died as well. Then two losses from my Natural Awakenings community: a co-publisher who leaves behind his co-publisher wife and young children and the mother of one of my distributors. Then, two pets, belonging to the same person, died within one week.

I don’t know where this comes from, but I am inclined to assist those who are dying or have just died. Before I encountered Buddhism, I thought one day I might volunteer for a hospice facility. But after learning about a Buddhist practice to benefit the dying and the recently deceased, I have said powa for many sentient beings, both human and animal. Lately, I’ve said it a lot.

Powa is a prayer and meditation for the fortunate transference of consciousness of those who have transitioned. Unlike taking and giving, a meditation practice I was drawn to, powa is a practice I resorted to when I couldn’t think of anything constructive to do in the face of death.

I don’t recall who died first, a too-young-to-die neighbor here in my community or the 16-year-old older brother of my son’s classmate. The former died of cancer, the latter by suicide. For both, I experienced grief, of course, but I was also filled with shock about the suicide. When I heard of the death of my neighbor, I had only recently learned powa, and I began relying upon it heavily. She’d had Buddhist leanings of her own, so we said the prayer together before she passed, and then I did so again with family and friends after she passed. 

The teenager’s death, however, was a major event within his school communities. I was not close to his parents at the time, so I did powa for him in front of my home shrine, as I’ve done for so many others. ❧

---

I’ve understood for a long time that the sadness and grief we experience for the passing of loved ones are, by and large, functions of the sorrow from our loss; we’re crying for ourselves, not the deceased. While this is understandable and acceptable, it’s not helpful to the dying or deceased. What I deeply appreciate about powa is that it gives us a meaningful way to help loved ones one last time. We can benefit them, not just indulge in our own grief.

Does powa really help? That’s where belief comes in. I fundamentally believe in the power of prayer, and I have experienced prayers appearing to be answered. But it is important to consider, as I have been taught, that effectiveness is not a function of our power, but the strength of our connections and intentions. If our connection to our loved ones and enlightened beings is sufficiently strong, and if our intent is sufficiently strong, enlightened beings can answer our prayers.

Indeed, my tradition encourages us to make and keep as many friends as possible in order to establish the karmic connections through which we can be of help to them in future lives. And I interpret this to mean, contrary to common advice, to not cut so-called toxic people out of our lives but to maintain some connection out of a sense of compassion—so we can help them down the road. I don’t mean to suggest that one should keep toxic people close, just that we shouldn’t abandon them completely.

If nothing else, powa can be personally empowering in the face of devastating loss. But much more than a temporary emotional lift, any practice we undertake for the benefit of others will surely help expand our sense and capacity for compassion. And, of course, there is the distinct possibility that such practices deliver benefits.

My Buddhist center, the Kadampa Meditation Center Georgia, holds a monthly powa session for sentient beings, including animals, who have passed away in the previous 49 days. For dates and times, visit MeditationinGeorgia.org/Prayers. Coincidentally, we write about KMC Georgia’s 25th anniversary on page 18 of this issue. ❧

---

Publisher of Natural Awakenings Atlanta since 2017, Paul Chen’s professional background includes strategic planning, marketing management and qualitative research. He practices Mahayana Buddhism and kriya yoga. Contact him at [email protected].