Love Thy Enemy
Dec 01, 2023 06:00AM ● By Paul Chen
“Jordan Peterson is pretty provocative,” my son told me.
Without thinking, words I’ve never said before escaped my lips: “The most provocative thing I’ve ever heard is ‘Love thy enemy.’”
There was no response. Perhaps because he knew that most humans would be outraged and seismically angry if you suggest that they love the person that just called them fat or stupid. Or the person that criticized them in front of their boss. Or the person that scammed them out of thousands of dollars.
Or members of a terrorist group committed to wiping your country off the face of the earth, a group that had just murdered more than a thousand of your people.
Or the government and the people of a country that has illegally occupied your lands and treated your people as unequal.
The degree of division and hostility between people in this country over the events of the Middle East startles me. The animus of Jews toward Palestinians and vice versa is understandable, but what isn’t, to me, is the celebration of the killing of innocent civilians and the assertion of members of both sides that there are no innocent civilians on the other side.
Something that a sangha member related to me has stuck in my craw. A young therapist—an Arab woman who has experienced war first-hand—was sharing with another young Arab woman that she had compassion for the Jewish people that were killed and the survivors that had lost family and friends. The other woman’s response was quick. She felt the therapist was enjoying a privileged compassion since she was not directly affected by Israeli actions. She, the second woman, wasn’t going to waste a moment’s worth of energy having compassion for the persecutors.
To be fair, my sangha member said the conversation was quiet and civil, but, to me, the mere thought that people are now criticized for having and expressing compassion for their enemies goes over the line. I don’t believe many of my countrymen love their enemies—it is a very tall order. But to disparage another’s compassion as privileged is shocking and depressing; this current orgy of hatred for the “other” seems to have eroded our capacity for empathy.
I remember learning of Jesus’ words on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I was awestruck. How can anyone love so much? That’s what I should aspire to. And stories of modern-day Jesuses are just as compelling and unfathomable—stories of mothers and fathers forgiving their children’s killers and even developing relationships with them. Reading such stories always chokes me up and makes me wonder what it would take for me to achieve that level of sainthood.
Matthew 5:44-47 says:
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Isn’t the entirety of life’s purpose that we work to improve ourselves, to overcome our shortcomings, to expand our capacities for love and compassion? Isn’t it obvious that this is a road to pure happiness, a joy that is not conditioned upon external factors such as money, partner, career or social status?
Of course, loving your enemy is hard—very hard. Perhaps nearly impossible. But that is exactly the point; the essence of Christian practice is to become more like Christ, is it not?
Buddhism teaches the same principle. I vividly remember the astonishment I felt when my teacher said that if one comes upon an adult abusing a child, it is the adult that’s in need of more compassion. This makes perfect sense if one believes in karma and rebirth; when receiving harm, the child is burning off negative karma, whereas the adult, by committing a wrongful act, is incurring future suffering as a function of karma.
Buddhists define compassion as the wish that others do not suffer. Interestingly, mustering compassion remains difficult for me in many situations, but loving my enemies is easier. Love is the wish that others are purely happy. The key word here is “purely”—it means that happiness comes from within; it isn’t conditioned by external factors, as mentioned above. Loving our enemies is easier because if your enemy is purely happy, they won’t commit non-virtuous actions that trigger anger and hatred in others.
May we all strive to be better tomorrow. May we all strive to love our enemies. ❧
Publisher of Natural Awakenings Atlanta since 2017, Paul Chen’s professional background includes strategic planning, marketing management and qualitative research. He practices Mahayana Buddhism and kriya yoga. Contact him at [email protected].
