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Natural Awakenings Atlanta

Dad Matters

How to be the Father Kids Need

DEAR DEPLOYED DAD

For parents serving in the military, some of the biggest barriers to involvement are inevitable and Military-Dadoften repeated deployments. Dads returning home often struggle to reestablish both their family role—which changed while they were away—and their relationships with children they haven’t seen for months and who may not even recognize them. Here are practical tips to counter any estrangement.

Talk to your children before you leave and tell them, in age-appropriate terms, what’s happening and why. Record yourself reading a child’s favorite book and ask mom to play it every night. Their hearing your voice while you’re gone will make it easier for them to get used to having you home again.

During deployment, communicate with home as much as possible by phone, Skype and email, taking into account time zone differences and military security. Don’t underestimate the power of snail mail. Little things—a dried leaf from a tree near the barracks, a film canister full of sand—let a child know Dad is thinking of them and provides tangible signs that he’s in a real place somewhere.

Upon returning home, take it easy and don’t expect to be able to simply pick up where you were when you left. Everyone in the family has changed, and likely become stronger via the experience. Some things may never return to the pre-deployment normal, but the new normal can be just as good—or better.

Source: The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads, by Armin Brott

 

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