I have written about my challenge with my hair-trigger anger against injustice—often describing it with three V’s: vile, violent, vehement. Sometimes I feel like Jekyll and Hyde. I’m almost always peaceful. It is extremely rare that I yell at anyone. But within a fraction of a second of hearing about an intentional injustice, I screech at the heavens.

Sadly, I’ve been triggered constantly since… oh… January 20.

I’ve also shared that I’ve made good progress on this issue. I calm down much more quickly. Mitigating thoughts come to mind much more quickly. What hasn’t improved is the hair-trigger aspect; I go from peaceful to enraged in a nanosecond.

My progress was made through the practice of taking and giving, a visualizing meditation that takes away suffering and gives love. Progress occurred because my intent was sincere; I truly wanted those who were/are committing injustices to not suffer, and I wanted them to be purely happy, with the understanding that meant to be happy from the inside, not the false sense of happiness one derives from getting what they desire through, say, money, objects, partners, status or whatever.

Sadly, I am no longer able to generate sincere compassion and love for those who are causing harm. Indeed, I feel the opposite toward them at this point.

And I hate that. I don’t want to be that kind of person.

Fortunately, spiritual traditions offer practices for these situations. In traditions that believe in reincarnation, there are practices to clean up one’s accumulated negative karma. I sense that this anger is a product of previous lives. Yes, I was an object of bigotry in my early years, but what I experienced doesn’t seem to account for how much anger I have.

So I now do a purification practice called Vajrasattva Sadhana. It’s founded on what Mahayana Buddhists call The Four Opponent Powers. These powers “oppose” the karmic seeds that result from past intentional negative actions. The powers are regret, reliance, opponent forces and promise.

First, review all the harmful actions you’ve committed in this life. “Actions” are not just things one does with one’s body but also those delivered by speech and mind. So, verbal abuse, mean rants—even the snide aside—qualify, as does merely wishing others harm. The goal is to generate deep regret for your past harmful actions, not only in this life but all your past lives. For the latter, assume you’ve committed countless harmful actions, including murder, adultery and lying.

Second, reliance is about taking refuge in that which can protect you from harm. In Buddhism, that’s the three jewels of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Opponent forces include mantra recitation, prostrations and the practice of generosity or service. Promise is committing to refrain from the actions one is attempting to purify, even if for only a few minutes.

What is essential here is intent. While I am not able to practice taking and giving for the perpetrators of harm with sincerity yet, I do genuinely wish to do so. So I can practice Vajrasattva Sadhana sincerely.

Other spiritual traditions offer purification practices as well. Hinduism has pujas, ritual bathing, asanas, pranayama and fasting. Indigenous traditions have smudging and sweat lodge ceremonies. Catholicism has confession and charity. Protestant denominations lack purification practices as such because they rely on faith over works, but they encourage purification equivalents, such as personal repentance and prayer. While Baptism is often seen as a purifying action, since it’s done only once, it isn’t a “practice.”  

If one does not adhere to a spiritual tradition, there are commonly recognized secular practices. Meditation and breathwork can be framed as cleansing one of negativity. Journaling is a way to work through negative tendencies and habits. Emotional release work is gaining in popularity. And practices such as smudging and sweating are practiced outside of their original contexts.