Last year, my friend Jenny hosted a gathering of eight women at her retreat in Southern California. Sharing powerful practices and deep discussions created an abundance of energy. In fact, it was so magical that the earth moved. Literally! There was an earthquake! Of course, we didn’t cause the earthquake, but we humorously considered it.

Around mid-morning, Jenny and I sat outside on the patio. I noticed my teacup vibrating, then the table shaking. A clay pot fell over and cracked. Wind chimes clashed loudly against a dull roar that sounded like a roll of thunder. Everything was trembling. Jenny calmly stood up. “Oh, it’s an earthquake,” she said. “Happens all the time here. We should move over by the pool, where it’s open and clear overhead.”

My energy didn’t match hers. I immediately jumped up, my chair shooting out behind me, its iron legs creating a violent sound. We rushed to a space in the yard. My heart raced. The Earth has long been a grounding source for me, but that morning, it was trying to shake off everything on it. I needed to physically feel something rooted to the earth, so I wrapped my hand around the branch of the small Joshua tree to my right, breathed deeply and prayed.

After the shuddering subsided, I remarked to Jenny how calm she seemed. She said the risk of earthquakes is a part of life in the desert. She explained that her home was built to withstand them, and people learn how to safely respond.

“Earthquakes are a reminder that none of us ever really know what will happen,” she said, “so it’s important to live freely and make the most of this journey.”

“Okay,” I countered, “But doesn’t it bother you? No warning at all! You have no idea when it’s coming and what magnitude it will be?”

“Not at all. It’s freeing. You control what you can control. You have to let go of the rest.”

I wasn’t convinced.

When my returning flight touched down back in Atlanta, I was glad to be home. I was grateful for our somewhat predictable forces of nature, storm-tracking systems and warnings that allow us a window of time to prepare. Still, weeks later, I couldn’t shake the anxiety. Clearly, it went much deeper than geological events. The earthquake had shifted my focus from the infinite power available within and around me—to the power of fear.

As a child, I experienced another type of “earthquake”: the sudden loss of a parent. At a young age, I understood that deep pain with the potential to shake your foundation exists and can arrive at any moment. In order to find safety in the world, a part of me adopted the belief that if I can anticipate tragedies, I can prepare myself and lessen the pain. At 13, this survival tactic offered the feeling of control in a chaotic world.

Decades later, whether it was set on high alert or sat as a quiet undercurrent, that over-protective part of me remained. But one day, I was ready to shake free of my fear-based thoughts. For years, I had worked on changing my daunting “What if?” scenarios to “What if everything turns out exactly the way I need it to?” beliefs.

My reaction to the Southern California earthquake, however, seemed to send me right back into those fears. That led me to explore therapeutic practices that highlighted neglected wounds that needed attention. These healing practices, along with writing, meditation, yoga and movement give me a greater sense of freedom, and I am now sharing what I’ve learned with others. None of us has to be imprisoned by emotional pain. Like earthquakes, pain has a “B side”—gifts of healing, transformation and wisdom.

I didn’t realize it that day, but Joshua trees represent endurance and survival. The very tree that stood next to me—that my intuition told me to hold on to—represented the traits I needed to remember. And on the other side of me was my trusted bestie who knew exactly what to do. Reminders that in any situation, I am being guided.

Both “earthquakes” left with a core lesson: No matter what life shows up with, you will have exactly what you need. So live freely!

I recently visited my friend Jenny again. When I arrived, I found a new tree near the Joshua tree. It was a small palm that instantly made me smile. By the way, palm trees represent victory. ❧