Getting Better At Resolutions
Jan 01, 2025 06:00AM ● By Paul Chen
But if I’m honest, I fall short more than I succeed. Thus, the recycling of resolutions.
I found wildly varying numbers on how long people stick to their resolutions. The most optimistic one reports that 55 percent caved before the year was out and 30 percent did so in fewer than three months.
The most common reasons people fall short on their resolutions, according to a variety of sources, include a lack of specific goals, unrealistic goals and relying too much on willpower. Other factors include too many resolutions, lack of planning, lack of accountability and failure to reframe one’s identity. Ironically, to some degree, this last issue conflicts with goal setting.
There’s way too much to say when it comes to figuring out how to get better at keeping resolutions, so I’ll just focus on a few things and hope they are of use to many of you.
I’ll start with that last point, reframing one’s identity, because I believe it has an all-pervading impact. Resolutions are not just about taking effective action but evolving one’s state of being. For example, a common resolution is to eat healthier, which might include a goal to not eat sweets or refined carbs six out of seven days a week. While goals like that are necessary, the bigger picture is about becoming a healthier person with the mind and habits thereof. This suggests affirmation work along with dieting plans, i.e., “I am mindful about my health and eat for optimal health.” [See our Sankalpa article in this issue about resolutions vs. purposeful intention-setting!—Ed.]
A big reason that I believe why many of us fall off the wagon is that we rely too much on willpower. Here, too, we need to differentiate between two ideas, just as we differentiated between setting goals and changing how we perceive ourselves. The relevant ideas herein are willpower and self-discipline.
Willpower is an effort exerted in critical moments over a short period of time and requires overcoming emotional barriers. Discipline is quite the opposite: it’s less emotionally taxing and long-term in nature. The critical difference has to do with habits: Self-discipline is strongly linked to habits, while willpower is considerably less so, by definition. For example, I have a decades-long habit of working out regularly, so I don’t need willpower to get to the gym.
When it comes to instigating the change called for by resolutions, willpower is required. At the same time, while we take tiny steps—for example, instead of an end goal of meditating for 30 minutes, start by meditating for one minute—we need to figure out how a change in behavior can be made into a habit. For example, a person might use washing up in the morning as their cue to commence meditation immediately after.
There are three changes I’ll make in 2025 to make it more likely I achieve my goals. First, I’ll make fewer of them. Second, I’ll identify an accountability partner. While I’ve hit diet goals before, my success rate is maybe 50 percent. The one time I recall it really working well was when I published my goal on Facebook; all my Facebook friends became my accountability partners, albeit unwillingly!
The third change I’ll make is remarkably minor. It is to track progress, and it’s actually something I already do. However, what I just realized while writing this is that doing so on the app I use doesn’t provide the satisfaction and encouragement of seeing and being reminded of improvement. So, while I might continue using the app, in 2025, I will make paper versions of my trackers and mount them where I can see them every day. I’m betting that being able to see progress, or lack thereof, with my own eyes should be motivating!
Whatever resolutions you make for 2025, may you smile broadly one year from now and feel very satisfied with the accomplishment of all that you set out to do. ❧
Publisher of Natural Awakenings Atlanta since 2017, Paul Chen’s professional background includes strategic planning, marketing management and qualitative research. He practices Mahayana Buddhism and kriya yoga. Contact him at [email protected].
